If your cheap like me than you know that the pressure to spend a fortune on Halloween candy can be a little much.  $5.99 for 50 Nestle Favorite mini chocolate bars???? If I’m going to spend 5.99 on chocolate bars it’s going to be for myself!  But you just can’t give out nothing for Halloween – that’d just get your house toilet papered. So for all you cheapskates that don’t want to dish out the money to buy candy for the trick or treaters I, Wendy, have generously taken it upon myself to create a list of FREE Halloween substitutes to candy (who says you can only give out candy on Halloween?). The following are Wendy approved Halloween candy replacements:

•  Those tampon samples that you get in the mail—perfect for the female ‘tween trick or treater as that’s about the age girls receive their first visit from Auntie Flow.
•  Don’t have coins to drop into the children’s UNICEF boxes? No problem, just give them a few empty beer bottles—not only can kids exchange these for nickels but walking to the beer store is a great way for kids to burn those Halloween calories!
•  Have cans of soup/vegetables that you know you’ll never eat? Give these away for Halloween! With all the sugary junk kids get for Halloween they’d probably appreciate receiving a can of creamed corn.
• Coupons that you’ve received in the mail – there is nothing like the look on a child’s face when they receive a coupon for No Frills (or any other grocery chain), it’s completely worth the 25¢ savings—it’s priceless.
• Handing out your business card is also a great substitute for candy – you never know when they might need your service.
• Condoms (you can get these free at any public health office) – Probably the best choice for the Halloween generation of today. For a little Halloween sweetness hand out the flavoured ones.
• If you have some ZipLoc bags and a box of laundry detergent you can always make little laundry packets to give out on Halloween night. If you don’t label them the kids will think your handing them cocaine and then you’ll be the most popular haunt for trick or treaters!
• Half used bottles of soap and shampoo, don’t feel ashamed if this is all you can hand out on Halloween night kids need to wash themselves.
• Another great replacement for candy is giving the trick or treaters your half empty bottles of medications. Depending on the medication it could be either a trick or a treat.

 Or just hand out whatever you want to get rid of. This can include: old curling irons, clothes, books, batteries, combs, cutlery, CD’s, old essays, or toasters. Or if you want to be a real Halloween grinch you could always stuff their trick or treat bags with last weeks garbage, perfect for teens that go tricking or treating without dressing up.

Those are about all the substitutions by stoned mind can think of, if you have any others please feel free to comment (even if you don’t have any idea’s please feel free to comment). HAPPY HALLOWEEN!